It's a marathon, not a sprint

I've never been good at running long distances. And by long distance, I mean anything longer than a mile. I know it's kind of pathetic. I have friends that run half-marathons, and 5Ks, and full marathons, and friends who say "oh you know, I got up this morning and just had to run 5 miles before starting my day!" But, me? I get a stictch in my side, and have trouble breathing, and my legs want to fall off as I near the half-mile mark. This is why pilates is working for me.

You see, I've always been more of a sprinter. All the sports I did required short burst of sometimes intense energy. And that was fine. Volleyball, soccer, track, rugby...I could do that pretty much all day long. (Actually, rugby was tough, and I was always a little relieved when the final whistle blew, no matter what the score, and I still had all my teeth.) But ask me to pace myself for the long haul, and I'd come back sweaty, red-faced, doubled-over, telling you I pulled something and could I please sit down cause I wasn't going to make it.

So here I am, metaphorically sweaty, red-faced, doubled-over, positive I've pulled an emotional something and please let me sit down cause I'm not sure I can make it.

Now, look, I know what you're thinking. I, too, hate that all these posts seem to have a similar strain: Elizabeth being dramatic about getting married and planning a wedding, thinking she's not going to make it, blah, blah, blah...

But it's true, ok? It's like being in love, or losing a loved one, or having kids (so I've heard). You don't get it until you've done it, but at the same time it's different for everyone.

But I will say that some very significant progress has been made. My sisters and future sister-in-law have actually ordered their bridesmaids dresses. My mother and father have finally met my future mother-in-law and her husband (it went very well, and included smiles, homemade blackberry jam, and some alcohol, thanks for asking). We have hotel reservations. Flowers have been ordered. I've done a hair and make-up trial run. And we've received our long-awaited and much-anticipated stationary!

Note on the hair and make-up: Of course your fiance will probably be like my fiance and say, "Why don't you just get married with your hair down and no make-up on? I think you're beautiful that way!" Aw. Bless him. And yet, let's be honest. It's not about him. It's about the photographs that will last FOREVER. When I'm 94 and wrinkled with white feathers for hair, I will want to look at the pictures of my wedding and think, "Hell yeah, I looked good!"

Plus, it was kind of fabulous doing a trial run. My hairstylist did three different dos on me. The first style was a bit 80's and looked like I had pulled it up with one of those giant banana hair clips we all know and loved. Her excuse was that I just had so much hair (I do have a lot of hair). We moved on to better things. The final look [spoiler alert!] is with my hair in loose curls, pulled and then pinned up, low and to the side, just over my right shoulder. I think it will look really great with my dress.

Then the make-up was great too because...well, someone else did it, and it's always better when someone else does it. The end product was something that even my fiance couldn't complain about.

So things are going well. We're definitely on the home-stretch. With only 10 weeks and 5 days to go we'd better be on the home-stretch. But with all of 10 weeks and 5 days, we still have a long way to go.

And truthfully...I'm tired. Remember, I'm more of a sprinter. And planning a wedding I have found is draining. Especially if you're a people-pleaser. Like me. Nevermind the time wasted at work practising your new signature, or looking at pictures of other peoples' bouquets...

Hello, nice to meet you, I'm the oldest child, desperate from birth to please just about anybody she's ever met.

So yeah. That's why I'm not sure if I can make it. Because every day is a huge question of whether or not the decisions I make about this wedding will make everyone else involved happy.

Will my friends still want to come if they're not bridesmaids? Will my aunt be offended if I don't wear her jewelry? Will my grandmother care if I use her florist or the one my cousin recommended? Will that person feel bad if I don't invite them to the wedding?

I guess it's silly when you read it out loud. But I still feel it. Thus, the red-faced, exhausted person with no stamina when it comes to emotional outpouring. I literally sob every time I watch Armageddon for crying out loud!

At some point I can only hope for what some would call a "runner's high." That point when you've gone so hard for so long that your body actually responds positively to the exertion and you feel euphoric and could go on in the same way for days.

It hasn't hit yet...but with how hard this has been for me...it's gotta come soon.

Miracles DO happen!

After being down in Houston for 35 hours this past weekend, I have decided two things:

1) Pilates is not only combating but kicking all the bad-for-me-food-I-eat's butt.
2) Having to TAKE IN the wedding dress (as opposed to letting it out) is an amazing feeling.

Mayday, Mayday, MAYDAY!

I like food. I'm a foodie, a gourmet, a food snob. (Ok, I also just looked up "foodie" on Wikipedia and apparently I'm neither a foodie or gourmet because I don't love food for "consumption, study, preparation and news." I love it for going in my belly and tasting good on the way down.)

That being said, this whole you-loose-weight-before-your-wedding-because-you-get-so-stressed thing I've been hearing so much about...I've decided is a myth. At least in my case. Because I'm plenty stressed (see previous post). And yet the overwhelming desire for pizza, ice cream, and all things fried keeps coming.

Now, I am combating the food that desires to take up permanent residence on my thighs and hips by doing pilates, which is great and is really making me feel good. But I'm failing in this whole work-out and (double emphasis on the "and") eat-right thing.

And here's the scary part. My first dress fitting. Is. This. Friday.

Thus the distress signal. I am indeed in grave and imminent danger of eating a whole pizza for lunch...and probably some cereal...and some popcorn...and maybe some carrots...and then a couple of cookies...

I'm still alive...barely

So it's been a while.

I know, I know...when you commit to blogging, you've got to actually blog. And I'm committed I assure you. But you know how it goes...I was out of town one weekend, and going crazy the week before trying to get ready to go out of town, and then trying to catch up after being out of town, etc.

Where did I go you ask? To Boston and Maine for one of my best friends' weddings. The ceremony was on the coast of Maine (literally) over-looking the ocean. It was gorgeous, and so was my friend.

Now, it's funny how this happens (actually maybe not "funny" per se) but planning your own wedding makes you that much more aware of details at other people's weddings. For example, I would have never noticed how much time was spent making sure everyone had rides to and from places if I wasn't thinking in my head, Crap! That's something I'm going to have to spend a lot of time thinking about! And who knew that wearing a button down shirt would make it so much easier to change into your wedding dress after hair and makeup? I do now...

I almost feel like I cheated because now I know what to do better than I was planning on doing it. (I suppose I could have also learned what not to do, but there wasn't anything about her wedding that I wouldn't do...so it was a very positive learning experience.)

The only bad thing is that now I really have to get cracking on my wedding.

Tip: If you want to order designer bridesmaid dresses, make sure you do that at least 11-17 weeks before you need them. (Now, if you're nervous because your wedding is 14 weeks away and you don't want to risk the dresses not being there and your mom is mad because you should have done this earlier and you want them to fit your sisters and future sister-in-law well and yet still all look different but be the same color and made out of the same fabric, JCrew has some very pretty dresses from which you can pick and choose between styles and colors. Plus they deliver within a few weeks and you can return in-store...)

Tip: Pick some post-wedding thank you card stationary early. And believe me. Your fiance does not care about what the typographed initial on his note cards looks like. But your mom does. So go ahead and make the decision for him, only telling him how much your mom has thought about it if he needs a good laugh.

Tip: Don't wait until 3.5 months before the wedding to schedule all the wedding showers and bachelorette parties that different people are throwing you. There will not be enough weekends to go to them all, and to go down to Austin for food tasting, and to go down to Houston for dress fittings, etc.

Tip: Think about the wedding rings at some point before the wedding. Then, don't just think about them. Schedule a trip to the jewelers to go and GET THEM.

Tip: At some point, don't forget to buy plane tickets for your honeymoon, pick hotels for your guests to stay in, finalize flower orders, get all the addresses for invitations to various things, schedule run-through with your hairstylist and make-up person, and buy a wedding present for your beloved.

Oh, and keep going to pilates. Because nothing soothes you more when you're stressed than a large pepperoni, jalapeno, and pineapple pizza from Papa Johns and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia while you sit on your couch watching Legally Blonde, and you're not going to want to deal with that come November.

So, yes. Three and a half months to go...and I'm not any where close to being ready.

Tip: At crucial moments, stop and remember why you're doing this, drop everything and go watch a romatic comedy with your fiance. Share popcorn and a drink. Hold hands as you walk back to the car. Sigh. Smile. And take it one day at a time.

You're gonna make it, love. You're gonna make it.